Together · Dads and partners
Living room dance party.
His side of the story: the songs, the silly moves, and the moments that belong to the two of them.
The music is a little too loud. Someone is spinning in slow circles across the living room rug, and someone much smaller is riding on his shoulder, shrieking with joy. You're leaning in the doorway, watching. This is their thing, and it might be the best thing you've ever seen.
Every baby has a mom's side of the story. But there's another side, too: the partner who hums the same off-key song at bath time, invents a new game every Saturday, and knows exactly which bounce settles her down. Whether that's dad, your wife, or another devoted partner, here's to the person who loves her right alongside you.
It starts before she arrives
A partner's part in this story begins long before the birth. It's in the hand on your belly the first time she kicks, the late-night talk about names, the pillow fortress built so you can finally get comfortable. It's in the appointments, the questions, the crib assembled at midnight with one leftover screw.
Those months are practice for the team you're about to become. When your partner feels part of it all from the start, they step into parenthood ready to jump in, not wait on the sidelines.
Skin to skin is for partners, too
There's something wonderful about a tiny newborn sleeping on a bare chest, rising and falling with every breath. Skin-to-skin contact isn't only for moms. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, both parents can take part.
For babies, it brings warmth, steadier heartbeat and breathing, more deep sleep and calm, alert time, and less crying. For the grown-up, it can promote bonding and the release of feel-good hormones. Hand her over, shirt off, a blanket over her back, and stay awake while she's on your chest. Those quiet minutes are some of the sweetest of the newborn days.
Their way to play
Here's a happy truth: play is a big part of how many dads connect. According to the Pew Research Center, most of dads' time with their kids is spent playing or providing care, and dads of children under 6 spend an average of 1.62 hours a day caring for and helping them, a little more than an hour and a half.
Partners often bring a style all their own. Airplane rides. Peek-a-boo with the dish towel. Made-up songs with ridiculous lyrics. Dance parties before dinner. These moments matter. They build trust, laughter and a bond that's all theirs. Give them the space to do it their way, even if their way involves a lot more spinning than yours.
Sharing the nights and the everyday
Some of the best teamwork is the least glamorous. A diaper change at 3 a.m. A bottle warmed and handed over. A load of laundry folded without being asked. The nights go easier when you split them: maybe one of you takes the first stretch and the other takes the early morning, or one handles the feeding and the other does the burping, changing and settling.
There's no single right way to divide it. The best plan is the one you make together, talk about openly, and adjust when it stops working. When the everyday load is shared, both of you have more left over for the good stuff.
Keeping the two of you close
In the swirl of feeds and naps, it's easy to become two very tired coworkers passing a baby back and forth. Make small room for each other. Coffee together on the porch while she naps. A hand squeeze across the dinner table. A real "how are you doing?" and the time to hear the answer.
Date night can be a takeout picnic on the living room floor after bedtime. Laughing together about the blowout that happened in the grocery store counts, too. You started this adventure as a pair, and staying close is part of the gift you give her.
Partners have feelings, too
Becoming a parent is huge for partners as well, and it's not all easy. The American Academy of Pediatrics is clear: partners can get depressed, too. If your partner seems down for more than a little while, or just not like themselves, don't stay silent. You're a team, and both of you are essential to your family's health. A pediatrician or primary care doctor can help find support for either parent. The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is available 24/7 by call or text at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262), and Postpartum Support International can be reached by calling or texting "Help" to 1-800-944-4773.
From baby to toddler, side by side
As she grows, the games grow with her. The bounce becomes a chase around the kitchen island. The lullaby becomes a bedtime story with silly voices. The dance party gets a second dancer who insists on choosing the song.
And most partners love it. Pew found that dads say being a parent is enjoyable (81%) and rewarding (79%) all or most of the time. You can see it in the way they light up when she runs to the door yelling their name.
Their song
One day she'll be grown, and a certain song will come on the radio. She'll smile without quite knowing why. It'll be the one from the living room, the one they danced to, back when she was small enough to ride on a shoulder.
Turn it up. The best dance parties happen right at home.
Decide together who does what, and see how your days are shared.
Where this comes from
This article draws on guidance from the Pew Research Center and the American Academy of Pediatrics. It's here to help, not to replace your own doctor, midwife or pediatrician. If you have questions, ask them.
- Key facts about dads in the U.S., ahead of Father's Day 2023, Pew Research Center
- Skin-to-Skin Contact: How Kangaroo Care Benefits Your Baby, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)
- Depression During & After Pregnancy: You Are Not Alone, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)