Coming Home · The first weeks
Then, around two months, a smile.
The first weeks are a blur of feeding, rocking and learning each other. Then one morning, she looks right at you and smiles back.
You carry her through the front door, and the house you left a few days ago feels brand new. Same couch, same kitchen, same lamp by the window, but now there's a tiny person in your arms who has never seen any of it. Welcome home, Mama. The adventure starts here.
The first weeks are not meant to be tidy. They're meant to be close. You'll feed her, rock her, change her, study her face, and slowly learn each other. And somewhere around the two month mark, she'll give you something back that makes every sleepy night feel worth it.
The first night home
That first night can feel big. There's no nurse down the hall, just the two of you (or three of you) and a very small, very new baby. That's okay. You already know more than you think.
Keep the night simple. Feed her when she's hungry, change her when she's wet, and lay her down on her back in her own sleep space near your bed. Keep the lights low and your voice soft during night feeds and changes. Then rest whenever she lets you.
Eat, sleep, repeat
In the early weeks, your days have a gentle rhythm, even if it doesn't feel that way yet. Most newborns need 8 to 12 feedings a day, about one every 2 to 3 hours. Breastfed babies often nurse a little more often, and that's normal.
Sleep comes in small pieces. Newborns sleep about 16 to 17 hours a day, but often only 1 or 2 hours at a time. Regular sleep cycles come later, around four months. Until then, short stretches are exactly what a healthy newborn does.
A little daytime play and cuddling while she's awake can help her sleep longer at night, bit by bit.
Learning her language
Before she has words, she has cues. Watch for her hands drifting to her mouth, her head turning toward the breast or bottle, or her lips puckering and smacking. Those are early signs she's hungry, and crying is a later one. When she's full, she'll close her mouth, turn her head away and relax her hands.
Crying is how she talks to you, too. Newborns routinely cry 1 to 4 hours a day, and over time you may start to hear the difference between a hungry cry and a tired one. Try meeting the most pressing need first, then rocking, singing, walking or a snug, safe swaddle. If you ever feel overwhelmed, lay her on her back in her crib and step away for a few minutes. Never shake a baby.
And here's the sweetest truth of all: you can't spoil a young baby with attention. Answering her calls helps her cry less overall.
Her first bath
Until her umbilical cord stump falls off, usually by about one or two weeks, she only needs sponge baths. A soft washcloth, warm water and a warm room are all it takes.
Once the stump is gone, a real bath can become one of your favorite rituals. Use about 2 inches of water that feels warm, not hot, to the inside of your wrist or elbow, and keep one hand on her the whole time. She doesn't need a bath every day. About three baths a week may be plenty in her first year.
Let your people in
Visitors will want to meet her, and that can be lovely. It's also perfectly fine to keep the first days quiet and limit visitors while you rest and heal.
When people offer help, say yes. Let someone bring dinner, fold the laundry, or hold her while you shower or nap. Nap when she naps, if you can, and let the house be a little messy. These weeks are for the two of you.
The well-baby visits
Your pediatrician will want to see her early and often. The American Academy of Pediatrics schedule includes a first week visit at 3 to 5 days old, then visits at 1 month and 2 months. Each one is a chance to check her growth, keep up with her vaccines and ask your questions.
Write your questions down as they come up, even the small ones. Bring your top three to five, and ask away.
The one thing to remember
Feed her when she's hungry, hold her when she cries, and rest whenever you can. That's the whole job right now, and you're doing it.
Then, she smiles
Most babies are smiling when you talk to them or smile at them by about 2 months. She'll also start to calm when you pick her up, watch your face, and seem happy to see you when you walk into the room.
The moment you've been waiting for
One ordinary morning, maybe mid diaper change, maybe mid yawn, she'll look right into your eyes and smile. Not a sleepy twitch. A real one, just for you. Every feed, every rock and every late night was leading here.
If you ever have questions about how she's eating, sleeping or growing, call her pediatrician. That's exactly what they're there for. And if she has a temperature of 100.4°F or higher in her first three months, call right away.
Welcome home, Mama. The smiles are on their way.
Her age and when she woke up tell you when the next nap is likely.
Where this comes from
This article draws on guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC. It's here to help, not to replace your own doctor, midwife or pediatrician. If you have questions, ask them.
- Feeding your newborn: Tips for new parents, Mayo Clinic
- Getting Your Baby to Sleep, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)
- Signs Your Child Is Hungry or Full, CDC
- Responding To Your Baby's Cries, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)
- Bathing Your Baby, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)
- Recovering from birth, Office on Women's Health
- AAP Schedule of Well-Child Care Visits, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)
- Milestones by 2 Months, CDC
- Fever: When to Call the Pediatrician, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)